Of Consensus and Fur
by Amberstar of Thunderclan
Summary: After further consensus, we have decided it is time for a sequel. Legion and Socks are back, and our favorite feline has plenty of a mark to make on the crew of the Normandy! From making people's lives difficult, and interrupting Thane's down time, to stealing Garrus' visor(and Kasumi's heart while he's at it), Socks will go above and beyond from his perch on Legion's head.
1. Socks

Shepard's eyes weren't the only ones that kept flickering back to the Geth who sat in the corner of the shuttle.

Well, Garrus was perhaps the exception; the middle horn of his fringe had been damaged, the tip chipped off by a stray bullet during the fight. He touched the injury, wincing, and looked back down at the blood on his hand with a scowl. A chipped fringe was a wound to pride for a Turian.

The reason everyone kept looking at Legion? The small, fluffy ginger and white tabby bundle of fur that sat in the Geth's arms. A small, fury head swiveled around, taking in it's surroundings, large amber eyes wide and bright. A small blue collar was still wrapped around it's neck, a tiny round tag hanging off of it, occasionally clinking against the metal of the Geth platform.

Either the kitten was very brave, or hadn't a clue of what it was being carried by right now.

"What's with the animal?" Grunt asked, eyeing their fuzzy guest. Legion looked at him.

"It is a common earth pet. We have retrieved it from hostile forces, as Tali-Creator found it distressing when we suggested leaving it behind." the Geth explained. Shepard, Garrus, and Grunt all leaned out to look at Tali. Shepard could imagine too easily the grin behind the mask, and it looked like the Quarian was having an internal war of some sort not to burst out laughing. Shepard rolled her eyes. _Well, at least she's not pointing a pistol at him._

"What's his name?" she asked. The Geth looked down at the kitten as if to check the tag, before looking back up at her.

"His designation by previous owners is 'Socks'." _Damn, this is just too good!_

"Are you going to keep him?" Garrus inquired, amusement vibrating in his sub vocals. The question hung in the air for several long seconds as all eyes focused on Legion, whose head flaps twitched as it made consensus. It tipped it's head in Tali's direction for a moment, regarding her before answering.

"Yes."

* * *

"I'm sure we can spare some supplies; Gardener can show you where the levo food is. Just be sure to clean up after him." She told Legion as the team filed through the airlock.

"Yes, Shepard-Commander." the Geth agreed before exiting. Shepard watched it go, Garrus coming up beside her.

"Kasumi is going to have a heart attack." he commented. She let out a grunt of agreement, crossing her arms.

"I just hope Legion knows where to find a litter box. And keeps that thing away from Mitch." she said. Garrus pat her on the shoulder.

"Oh, don't worry; I think that hamster is ready for everything. Including a kitten." he reassured her.

"Yeah. But still; if Legion's 'pet' get's its claws on my hamster, I'm launching his furry hind end out an airlock. Regardless if I find myself on the receiving end of a Geth plasma rifle afterwords." she declared. Garrus put one hand over his heart.

"I can see the headline right now." he sighed mournfully. "'Hero Commander killed by Geth after launching it's pet cat out an airlock.' It'll be the story of a century."

"Shut up, Vakarian." she nudged his side playfully. "Go get your fringe seen to."

"Aye, aye, madame." he said, bowing deeply as he backed out the airlock, tipping an invisible hat. Shepard chuckled to herself as he left. It certainly was good to have Garrus around. In the early days, after his 'missile to the face' incident, when she'd had little to no trust of strange, new Cerberus crew, she'd kept the Turian at arm's length almost at all times.

Not to say she wasn't still distrustful of Cerberus, but she felt more comfortable away from him than she had near the beginning, especially now that other friendly faces had joined the team, like Tali and Thane. That, and she had a feeling Grunt would pound Cerberus to a pulp if they tried to do anything with his 'Battlemaster'. Then there was Legion, following her around like a puppy half the time, hanging around the AI Core doing literally nothing at all the other half.

Which was part of the reason she'd agreed to let it keep the kitten. It was all alone in there, and she didn't like that. Socks at least, would give Legion something to occupy that alone time. _I hope it's for the best, at least._

She wasn't entirely sure about such a pet on the Normandy. Sure, she had Mitch, but a kitten was a whole different kind of game. And Legion was... well, _Legion_. 'Extranet sources' couldn't tell it everything about raising a pet. And cats could be nasty little minions of the darkness even if you did raise them right. Hopefully, Kasumi, with her hyperactive love of all things cute and fuzzy, would be more than willing to help with anything the Geth couldn't comprehend.

* * *

Legion stepped off the elevator, with intent to put the kitten in the AI Core before getting it the necessary sustenance. However, it's runtimes should have known better to expect the platform could arrive on the crew deck without Kasumi Goto realizing there was an animal with it. Sitting at a table next to Thane Krios and Jacob Taylor, the thief was talking animatedly when she caught sight of Legion, and froze, food still in her mouth.

She let out a gasp, spitting out her food, clutching at Jacob's shoulder and pointing at the Geth.

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! _Legion_!" She gasped. Soon, all eyes in the room were focused on the mobile platform standing near the elevator. Kasumi practically flew to the kitten.

"He's so cuuute!" she squealed as she approached, completely in love with the small animal.

"Mew?" Socks chirped, small head tipped to the side as it watched her.

"Can I hold him?" she asked, rubbing the kitten's head with one hand.

"Yes." Legion replied, transferring Socks into her arms. The orange and white tabby purred as she scratched him under the chin. He was only twice the size of Shepard's hamster, Mitch(whom Kasumi also adored), and though at first glance seemed well, the Geth's scans had detected several signs of minor malnutrition, and there was a small cut on one leg that would need careful tending to. Kasumi flipped the little tag over, and grinned at the name.

"Well, then, Socks. How did this one get aboard, anyway?" she inquired, eyes glittering under her hood.

"He was under ownership of an unknown member of the Blue Suns group. Upon termination of the cell, Tali-Creator found it distressing that the animal would be left behind. We have retrieved it." Legion explained.

"Well, he's just adorable. Better keep him out of trouble, there's a lot of places a kitten could get lost on this ship." Kasumi warned, handing the animal back to the Geth.

"We will secure the AI Core appropriately." It stated before walking away to it's destination. Kasumi and half the mess hall watched as both Geth and kitten disappeared into the med bay, just as Tali came off the elevator. Kasumi turned to her.

"Oh, Tali, I don't know what you said to Legion, but that is the most precious animal I have ever seen in my entire life." she told the Quarian.

"I know." she chuckled back. "I didn't even mean for it to happen! _I_ was going to take the thing and ask Shepard if I could keep it, but then Legion walked up and snatched him right out from under my nose!"

"Youch. Looks like Legion just one another Quarian-Geth battle. 'War of the kitten'." Kasumi declared solemnly. "You do realize just how cute it is that Legion just adopted a pet, right?"

Under her mask, Tali rolled her eyes. "I have a feeling I'm going to pay for my unintentional part in this."

"You know it." Jacob commented from where he sat.

"Shut up, Taylor."

* * *

 **Okay, after multiple requests, and after beta reading an emotionally distressing chapter of one of Jayfeatther's fics, I wrote some more Legion and Socks fluff. I might write more, so keep an eye out for updates.**

 **You know, this was actually inspired by multiple fics where Grunt got a kitten. I decided our favorite Geth could use som attention in the fluff factor. Literal fluff, Socks is just a bouncing bundle of furry cuteness right now. But of course, like all pet owners, there will come a time where Legion turns a blind eye to certain... incidents.**

 **Like Garrus' visor.**

 **For those of you who are just arriving, this is a sequel to one of my one-shots, Legion the Geth and the Case of the Kitten. It isn't necessary, but you should still read it NOW. For those of you here from the results of the Thane Krios and the Spiders of Nope vote, here are the next stuff to vote for:**

 **Javik the jerk and the Friday Morning Routine, Urdnot Wrex and the Legend of the Pizza Fairy, Urdnot Grunt and the Frabjous Snow day, Ashley Williams and the Smelly Surprise, or James Vega and the Runaway Hamster.**

 **Vote up!**

 **Read and REVIEW!**


	2. Cat-Sitter Wanted(NEEDED DESPERATELY)

Chakwas shut her eyes in despair as Legion walked past her, having locked the door to the AI Core behind it, rifle on it's back. The Geth could do nothing about the dilemma, accept return in one piece and end the torture by going back to it's usual 'hang space'.

Minutes ticked by as Shepard's team went down for their latest mission. And then...

Chakwas flinched, squeezing her eyes shut tighter as a long, lonely yowl split the air from the other side of the door.

It was like this _every time_! Legion would go off for a mission, and lock Socks in the AI Core so the kitten couldn't get into trouble while it was gone. And the kitten, in return, would yowl his little heart out until the _exact moment_ of the Geth's return. And who was left to deal with it? Chakwas, who couldn't leave her post to escape it while the team was on the ground, lest an emergency happened. She couldn't crank up some music to drown out the noise, either; that just made Socks yowl louder.

They had yet to find someone on board the Normandy who could settle the creature down while his synthetic handler was away, so they were just stuck leaving him in the AI Core. And there came a point when Socks switched from just yowling, to making a complete mess of the place, like the little guy was throwing a Krogan-sized temper tantrum.

And it truly was unbelievable just how _loud_ such a tiny kitten could be! Part of her longed to open the door and see if she could somehow tame the beast, but so far Legion was the only one he would actually listen to. Everyone else got the 'pet me so I can go back to pretending you don't exist' treatment.

"Chakwas." Mordin greeted, striding cheerily into the room. "Need to borrow medical equipment. May have found treatment for Garrus' fringe rash-"

He was cut of by another angry yowl, followed by a rapid, light pounding on the door. Socks was trying to beat through his obstacle with his tiny back paws, but his flimsy mortal from was unable to overcome the hard metal.

"Angry Socks?" Mordin questioned sympathetically, and Chakwas nodded tiredly. She _swore_ , that yowling haunted her in her nightmares...

The Salarian hummed thoughtfully, before approaching the door that kept the kitten at bay. Chakwas watched, half unexpecting, half hopeful; most of the crew, Kasumi included, had tried to cat-sit the animal, but it usually ended with Socks getting bored and somehow tracking Legion's scent(did Geth even have a smell?) to the airlock, and finding the kitten trying to activate the controls. A Geth Legion may be, but coming back to the ship to be told your pet had spaced himself while you were away wasn't exactly a pleasant thing to come back to.

"Have you tried-"

"I've tried everything, Mordin. Food, petting, heck, I even tried catnip, but we all remember how that went." If it were organic, Legion would have been apoplectic when it had come from one mission to find Socks totally out of it and high as a kite; the kitten had broken the container for the catnip and totally OD'd on it. Mordin made another thoughtful sound, crossing his arms. For a few moments, listening to the yowling, he considered his options.

He hadn't interacted with Socks much since he came aboard, actually. It came as a shock, even to him, that he had forgotten. It was a unique and fascinating opportunity to study synthetic-organic interactions, to chart Legion's social progress. The Geth had certainly gotten a little more attention since taking in the Kitten, and was seen outside the AI Core more and more often.

"Could be interesting." he agreed with himself. He unlocked the door, and it opened to reveal an angry, tiny, ginger and white Socks sitting in front of the door, yowling with his little jaw parted to reveal a shockingly pink mouth, lined with tiny white fangs not yet stained with age or use. He ceased yowling as the door opened, and tipped his head to the side with a questioning mew. Mordin crouched down to the kitten's level, and held out his hand, smiling.

Tentatively, the young cat sniffed him, investigating, amber eyes wide. His wet nose bumped against Mordin's finger, and he slowly moved his hand, scratching the fluffy being behind the ears. He let out a mrrow of protest, but seemed to enjoy it immensely when the Salarian switched to rubbing him under his chin instead. Purring, he rubbed his whole body along Mordin's hand, in full expectancy of a complete petting.

"Not so loud and menacing when content, are you?" the scientist chuckled. Such a simple creature, with simple needs. "Could use companion while running tests, hmm? Don't think Legion would mind, keeping an eye on you until then."

Keeping in mind proper grip positions for holding cats, Mordin picked the fluffy tabby up in his arms, and made his way over to the counter to preform his tests.

* * *

Consensus was that Socks would be in the same state he was always in when the platform returned.

Intervention of Mordin Solus was not expected.

When Legion arrived in the med bay after the mission, it was to find Mordin running tests on one of the far counters, talking to himself as usual. Or, in this case, talking to Socks, it seemed. The kitten was curled up in a sleepy ball of ginger and white fluff next to the Salarian's work station, faint rumbles of a purr barely audible as the scientist's free hand worked in repetitive circles on the kitten's back.

"No, no, will not do. Would cause scale flaking. Make things worse. Perhaps-yes, yes that might do. Might do very nicely. Your medical opinion?" he was asking the cat. Socks merely looked up at him and yawned widely. "Hm. Thought as much."

"Mordin Solus. You have allowed Socks out of his confinement?" Legion questioned as it approached. The Salarian gave a small jump, whirling around. Legion's eye plates flicked upwards questioningly, and Mordin recovered from his fright quickly. He was still getting used to how silent the platform was on approach.

"Yes. Heard yowling, thought I could assist." he waved one hand, before setting it back on Socks. "Socks not as aggressive an escape artist as data led to believe. Expected another fabled attempt to breach airlock-never happened. Seems to enjoy my presence; feeling mutual. Outlet for fidgeting. Also, good for moral support."

Legion's eye plates contracted and expanded as it processed this new data. Many complaints had been filed about Socks' yowling. Nobody else seemed to be able to keep the Kitten in line and away from the airlock. Mordin Solus, however...

"Would you consider undertaking temporary custody of Socks when this platform is not present?" it asked. Mordin looked surprised for a brief moment, but then nodded with a smile, looking down at Socks.

"Of course. Could always use companionship in lab. Very tame when he isn't trying to escape."

Meanwhile, Chakwas watched the exchange with a sigh, leaning back in her chair with her hands resting behind her head. _Peace at last..._

* * *

 **Alright, just a little bit of Mordin-Socks fluff I thought we could all use. I'm working on Grunt's one-shot, I SWEAR, but I just needed to write a piece involving something fluffy and cute. I'm glad you guys are receiving this work so positively! And don't worry: I have a one-shot planned for just about every character.**

 **Not certain if I'll do the Andromeda crew. It depend on when I get the game and if I like it, and how attached I get to the crew. I'll tell you, it's going to be hard not seeing any of the old gang... They should totally remaster ME1. It would be GREAT to play the game, and be able to take scenes seriously instead of laughing at the fact the character's eyes are glitching through their lids. And there were other things that game could have improved upon as well.#ihatethemako**

 **Also, if you guys haven't checked it out already, be sure to read my full-time ME fic, How to Be a Rogue. It may seem odd at first, but I think people will like it once they give it a chance. At least, they'll like it until Andromeda comes out, then they probably won't give a turd about original trilogy AU's. Just a guess.**

 **To be honest, although I REALLY like Mass Effect, I think I'm more excited for Destiny 2 than Andromeda. I got super attached to the characters of the original trilogy, and their absence alone docks points off the excitement list. Plus, it looks like Bioware pulled a "Breath of the Wild"(a Zelda game; that doesn't look or feel like a Zelda game should). What I saw in the trailer looks like too drastic a change ffrom the universe's usual MO. Sure, it's a new time, with a new mission, different elements.**

 **But it just doesn't look like ME. If not for the fact that I PLAINLY saw a Turian and a Krogan beside Ryder, I wouldn't think it was ME at all. In fact, after seeing that battle sequence...**

 **I would have thought it was Final Fantasy 15.**

 **In space.**

 **#warpstrike.**

 **AND DANG!? Is that my author's note? Man, I better shut up before I tell my life story!**

 **Once upon a time, a baby was born. An insane baby. As in, some people were dropped as a child, but she was clearly thrown at a wall, slipped on the stairs, bounced upon the ceiling, and flew out the second story window out into ta glorious sunset while riding a unicorn-**

 **And without further ado, read and REVIEW!**


	3. Furry Infiltrator

Tali was always the first up on the engineering team. She enjoyed the morning lull, the momentary peace in the world before the two chatterbox's she worked with arrived. They were nice enough, for Cerberus. They were just chatterboxes.

She flexed her shoulders as she stepped up to her usual console, giving a nod to the last exiting member of the night crew as he left. She brought up the interface, checking the drive core readings. _Everything seems to be in order..._

She nearly jumped out of her suit when she felt the pressure on her leg, the weight and the feeling of two small points latching onto her suit. She looked down, startled...

To see Socks hanging from her ankle by his front paws, trying to climb up her leg. The fluffy kitten looked up at her with large amber eyes, the tag on his collar swinging. He mewed up at her, as if asking for assistance. She let out a huff of breath, though glad that cat's claws weren't strong enough to puncture suit mesh. If their suits were made that weak, then just catching on a table corner would be deadly.

"Oh, you furry little nuisance! You nearly gave me a heart attack!" She crouched down, trying to pry him off her leg. he only jumped further into her lap, resting his forepaws on her chest. She picked him up, and put him back on the floor. "Sorry, but no. I don't play with Geth pets. I'm busy anyway."

"Meow?" Socks merely jumped on her foot as she stood up, and she glared at him witheringly.

"I said 'no'! Keelah, I can't believe I'm having this conversation with an animal!" She leaned down, picked him up, and walked away from her consul, depositing him at Donnely and Daniels' station. _They_ could pamper Legion's cat. Where was it, anyway, and why was Socks down here instead of with it? He usually never left the Geth's side... or rather, it's head, which was his usual perch.

She marched back to her consul, and brought up the interface again.

"Mew?" She looked down, exasperated, to find Socks sitting at her feet.

"Go away, Keelah! I have work to do! Go bother Kasumi!" He responded by weaving between her feet, purring and looking up at her with the best puppy face a kitten could master. She groaning internally. How was supposed to say no to _that_ face?!

"Ugh, fine. But the moment Ken and Gabby get here, you their problem!" she bent down and picked him up, setting him on the corner of the consol. He rubbed his head against her hand, and she scratched him under the chin, which was, according to Mordin, the kitten's 'sweet spot'. _Little freeloader._ He was so fuzzy and irresistible, she would never forget the first time she saw him. It still made her giggle to think about it.

She and Legion had come to a(sort of) peace after the incident where it had tried to send data to the collective. While she certainly wouldn't be giving it any hugs anytime soon, she was okay with working side by side now, though still felt a chill towards it. Watching it walk around with a furry animal on it's head? Even she could appreciate _that_. She really had wanted Socks, or at least to relocate him to a more friendly family, but wouldn't she know, the Geth walked over, picked him up, and took him in. The very concept still bewildered her, even now.

She was alright with Socks. The only thing that bothered her was that if he was down here, Legion might not be far behind.

Her console beeped.

"Bosh'tet." she cursed under her breath as she looked at the new readings. They were going haywire; through no fault of the ship, but the console itself. It was always glitching like this; she really shoul look in to getting a few new parts. She ducked under it, opening the panel on the underside of it, and pulled a copper wire loose. All she had to do to fix the problem was unhook the connection for a few moments, then plug it back in, and-

She once more nearly jumped out of her suit as she felt the kitten climb onto her head from the top of the console.

"Keelah!" she exclaimed, jumping up earning a 'mrrrow' of protest from Socks. She felt his claws sink into her hood, and she found herself stuck with the view of his belly as he hung on to her head, back paws churning for a better grip on her face plate.

"Do I _look_ like Legion to you!?" she asked angrily, reaching up with both hands to pull Socks off. He mewed stubbornly, clinging to her hood. If she pulled too hard, it might rip, or she might hurt the kitten. "No head rides! Never! My head is too small for you, you furry little... head infiltrator!"

Still, Socks persisted. Holding onto him with one hand, she tried to pry his paws loose, and he started yowling pathetically in protest. She heard one of the doors open, and an audible snicker, and she turned to see who it was, desperate for help, lifting Socks slightly to get a better look at who it was. It was Ken, looking very amused.

"Found him, Legion!" the scott called back into the hall. Tali stood, tapping one foot, as the Geth came into view.

"Legion." she asked icily. "Get your cat. Off my head."

If Geth possessed real emotions, Legion would have been rolling on the floor with laughter. Ken looked like he might, and Gabby clapped a hand to her mouth, snickering, as she came up behind Geth marched up to her, and gently grabbed Socks with one hand, using the other to pull at his paws.

"Socks, remove yourself. You are hindering Creator Zorah's optical capabilities, and you have upset Jacob Taylor greatly." It scolded. Perhaps not caring at all about what it's owner said, but perhaps needing a more willing host, Socks let go, mewing at it and pawing at it's eye light. Legion deposited the kitten on it's head and the animal purred as Tali felt along her hood for any major holes.

"What did he do to Jacob?" she asked, trying to shrug her indignity aside.

"Socks ran down here to hide, it looks like. After he jumped on the table in the mess hall and knocked over Jacobs coffee all over his breakfast." Gabby explained. Ken snickered.

"Yeah, you should have seen his face! He's starting to look like Shepard." Gabby rolled her eyes at this, walking over to her console.

"And soon he'll be calling her 'mama', and asking Thane for allowance." Tali rolled her eyes, trying to ignore the unease prickling at her skin with the Geth so close.

"Why Thane?" Ken asked, moving up alongside his 'partner in crime'.

"Shepard-Commander and Thane Krios have recently shown signs of romantic attraction to one another." Ken and Tali's mouths both dropped open at this.

"WHAT!?"

"You mean you haven't noticed?"

"We noticed several unusual vital and hormonal spikes between the two of them during our last few ground missions together."

"Keelah, the GETH noticed this and I didn't?"

"YOU? I'M supposed to know everything on this ship!"

"Kenneth, you aren't the Nomandy's gossip king. Everybody knows Joker is."

"Mrrooowrroww!"

"The kitten has spoken!" Ken declared, waving his arms in defeat. "I relent. Joker is the sole and unchallenged ruler of gossip on the _Normandy SR2_."

"Mew." Socks tipped his head to rub the top of it along Legion's eye plates, stretching his forepaws luxuriously while the back ones maintained his grip. It was an odd-looking position, yet oddly endearing as he looked at her innocently with large, amber eyes, as if trying to brainwash her into thinking he _hadn't_ just been pried off her head by a Geth.

 _I'm not falling for that you little trouble maker!_ At least, that's what she told herself as Legion departed, Ken and Gabby still chattering away about Thane and Shepard.

* * *

 **"Get your cat. Off my head." Inspired by Cayde-6's iconic "Get your rock. Off my map." from Destiny!**

 **Socks is totally pushing his cuteness levels here trying to win Tali over. Since Quarians and Geth kind of look alike, he decided that her head would be just as warm as Legion's. However, Tali does not appreciate the honor of being chosen as his throne.**

 **I'm glad you like my writing style!**

 **Anyway, life is being a pain again, but I totally killed it in Destiny's Iron Banner last week, and I felt like doing something cute an nerdy, so here I am. Don't forget to review/favorite and go check out my other fics. I AM DYING! Only one very loyal, much appreciated reader has been reviewing my mainstream ME fic, How to Be a Rogue, for the last, like, five chapters! I'm practically foaming at the mouth, here! I got ONE epic series in ME(oneshots and oneshot series don't count), an d nobody reviews it. It's times like these where I find myself lapseing back into the smaller fandoms, like Destiny and Wings of Fire. From what I've noticed, the smaller the fandom, the more reviews the fics get. These larger archives are hard to get attention in.**

 **Anyway, I'm done ranting. Keep an eye out for the next update!**

 **Read and REVIEW!**


	4. Pyjaks and Questions

A yowl of pure, unrelenting, death-promising fury ripped through the air.

Nearly every Krogan in the camp jumped with _manly caution_ at the sound. An orange and white bullet seemed to launch itself like a rocket off of the Geth's head, pelting for nearest pyjak like a mad varren.

Legion had insisted that Socks needed a tiny bit outside the Normandy. That being cooped up inside the metal structure was bad for him. Shepard had tried reasoning that Tuchanka was no place for a kitten, that he might get stepped on or eaten, but the Geth had been adamant that it could protect it's furry charge if necessary.

"Socks!" Grunt shouted as the tabby darted between his legs to get at the pyjak. As the feline made his escape, Legion's eye plates all flicked up in alarm, and it gave chase, nearly knocking Tali over.

"Ally designate Socks; you are violating behavioral parameters!" it shouted as it ran around the Krogan. The Pyjak, terrified, had ran, Socks chasing after it with lightning speed, still yowling. The pyjak dove for a hole near the food tunnels, and disappeared. Socks, too, dove for the hole, squeezing in swiftly in pursuit of his quarry. Legion...

Dove for the hole, one arm outstretched to grab Socks by the tail, and crashed into the wall violently. Recovering, it stuck it's arm in the hole, probing for the runaway feline. Angry yowling could soon be heard echoing up from the food tunnels. Legion scrambled to it's feet as Tali and Shepard approached, the run-in with the wall resulting in an awkwardly-bent eye plate.

"Keelah, what _was_ that!" Tali exclaimed. Grunt's booming hysterical laughter echoed just as much as Socks' yowling.

"Socks just went crazy!" Shepard said, eyes wide. She turned on her com unit. "Thane, get down here; Socks has gone pyjak hunting!"

"We do not see the humor in this situation, Shepard-Commander." Legion's eye plates seemed to bristle... almost like a cat's hackles, the damaged one sparking slightly. "Ally designate Socks cannot be retrieved from food storage easily. Chances are 65.98% that the Krogan will release varren into the run to kill the pyjaks. _And_ Socks."

Yowls of triumph coincided with the screeches of dying pyjaks, shortly before a new sound filled the air, and Socks' calls changed back to angry hissing, yowling, and spitting. The new sound... was that of an injured varren.

"Open the varren runs! Open the varren runs!" One deep voice called. The Normandy crew froze, Legion's point quick to be proven. The Geth ran to the nearest entrance...

And was nearly knocked over by the yelping varren that barreled out of the tunnels, an orange kitten less than a quarter it's size clawing at it's heels. Legion threw itself on Socks, wrangling the now very messy, blood-covered pet. As it lifted him in the air, unfazed by his flailing caws and teeth, the varren ran and hid behind the nearest Krogan, and it took everybody a few moments to realize that it was missing it's tail.

Booming laughter filled the cavern. Grunt excitedly told any who would listen that Socks lived on the same ship he did. Wrex thumped Shepard on the back, and Tali had her mask buried in one hand.

"You got any more of those lying around, Shepard?" the chief of Clan Urdnot asked, as Legion pulled the writhing Socks close to it's chest, looking around at the attention it had attracted. Quite suddenly, it took off at a brisk pace through the crowd, Socks lashing out in the direction of the varren one last time as they passed.

* * *

The med bay was finally quiet, and Socks was finally clean. The kitten was fast asleep in Legion's lap(having been drugged because he just wouldn't settle down), and now sported a nicked right ear and a series of other small cuts on the pads of his paws from the rough, debris-covered ground of Tuchanka. The Geth's hand was rubbing it's pet between the ears in a repetitive manner that, had it been organic, Chakwas would have described as 'absentmindedly'. She was seriously wondering if it was even aware of making the action. She wondered why it was still sitting in here. What was it waiting for, if anything?

"Doctor Chakwas, we have a query." she looked up from her desk at it, to see the eye light directed at her.

"Yes? What is it?" she asked, blinking.

"Despite the potential harm that could have come to Socks within the tunnels, Shepard-Commander and all other present organics found the situation amusing. Do organics find joy in the endangerment of allies?" Her eyebrows raised. _Oh, dear._ That's _unexpected._ She rolled her chair outwards a little.

"Of course not!" she told it. "Socks wasn't injured too terribly in the encounter; certainly, fur flew, and a couple of unfortunate pyjaks met their fates, but otherwise, only the varren was significantly hurt. And even then, they weren't laughing at the pain that had been inflicted; they were laughing at the circumstances."

Legion's eye plates flicked up, as if to express confusion. "Explain."

"Okay." she took a breath, thinking about how to word this right, and found the perfect case. "Alright, well... Garrus' wounds. The injury itself was awful; absolutely horrific. We very nearly lost him. But now, 'I took a missile to the face' is the punch line for half his jokes! Why, only a short while before you came aboard, I was replacing his bandage and he ran out in the mess hall, shoved his scars in Joker's face and screamed 'you will love me'! They would never have laughed if Socks was seriously hurt, Legion."

The Geth just stared at her. It tipped it's head to the side, as if thinking, it's repetitive petting of Socks ceasing.

"Thank you. We believe we understand now." It got to it's feet, holding Socks in it's arms. It nodded to her, and took it's pet into the AI core. Chakwas sighed, shaking her head with a grim smile as she turned back to her computer. _Well, I have to give it credit; it certainly cares for it's pet._

* * *

 **Sorry this is late. I got distracted by something shiny(is it just me, or is this my excuse whenever something is late?)**

 **But here we have the Tuchanka incident mentioned in _Legion the Geth and the Case of the Kitten_. Now, I'm still not certain if I'll be doing one-shots for the Andromeda crew just yet, but keep dreaming; maybe I will, once I finish up with the original trilogy.**

 **I also changed the title of this because... I have no idea. _Reasons_?**

 **Read and REVIEW!**


	5. Flea Bath

_"Shepard, you better get down here."_ She had known, when she heard those words, she should have ignored it. She should have gone back to sleep. But no, that goodie-two-shoes voice in the back of her head told her to _just do it_. And then another voice had said 'Thane would do it, he would go down, it could be something is wrong with one of your crew'. Or maybe it was something wrong with Thane; had his Keprals gotten worse?

That was what had sent her down there. But if she hadn't, in theory, given into these imaginings, she wouldn't have walked into the Med Bay to find Chakwas trying to hold down a squirming Socks, with Legion fidgeting nearby. The doctor had been wearing medical gloves.

"What's going on here?" she had asked.

"Apparently, those pyjaks had fleas on them." and that was all Commander Shepard had needed to hear in order to regret getting out of bed that morning.

"Be gentle!"

"Says the Geth! Stop pushing, I know how to bathe a cat!"

"Could someone get him to stop yowling!? Some of us are still trying to get some sleep!"

"No! No, Socks, bad kitty!"

"Keelah, what are you two doing in here! It sounds like you're murdering someone!" Tali poked her head into Med Bay to find Legion, Shepard, and Chakwas wrestling to keep Socks in a small tub filled with suds.

"We de-fleaing Socks! Those pyjaks he ate infected him! Ow! No claws!" Shepard told her, as she tried to work the vinegar-shampoo mix into the kitten's head fur. "Legion, hold him a little more firmly!"

"We may cause damage-"

"Do you want him to stay covered in fleas, or have a few bruises?" Chakwas asked the Geth. "Sometimes we have to do unpleasant things to keep our pets healthy, it's a fact of life."

At that, Legion seemed to grip the kitten harder as he writhed and struggled, fur matted to his body and looking generally pathetic. Shepard ran her fingers through the tabby fur, grimacing as she spotted a black bug. _I should have stayed in bed this morning._

"Well, Shepard, this role seems to suite you." she mentally groaned, face turning red hot as Thane took Tali's place in the doorway as the Quarian left with a muttering of an native expletive.

"Easy for you to say; you're not the one cleaning him!" she shot back. Pain lanced through her hand, and she jumped back from Sock's claws as the kitten managed to struggle loose, and attack her hand. The Geth fumbled to get a grip on it's pet once more, by the slippery feline broke loose, yowling. Shepard tried to grab him, but he scrambled out of the tub, and she fell into the water as Legion got to it's feet and ran after the kitten, who dashed, spitting madly, into the mess hall. Soaked, she tried to get up, only to find herself thoroughly stuck.

"Hey! I'm stuck! Legion, get back here! Legion!" she cried out as Thane laughed with barely held restraint, and Chakwas wiped suds from her eyes.

"So much for 'holding him firmly'. I suppose the soap made his hands a bit slippery." she muttered. "Thane, a little help with the commander while I retrieve Socks? Something tells me it's going to take more than Legion to net that cat."

"Of course." he told her with a soft grin. The doctor got to her feet and exited the bay, looking amused, and Shepard crossed her arms with a huff, glowering at the Drell, who was obviously trying not to laugh.

"Yeah, really funny lizard man. You gonna help a lady out or what? Because now right now, I'm soai=king in flea-infested vinegar. Not fun." She said. Still smiling, Thane walked over, and gripped her arm with one hand, the the edge of the tub with the other, and tugged. She came free, stumbling into him, and he held her steady.

Close together, they smiled at one another, there lips drifting closer and closer together, and then...

Shepard swung the Drell around, shoving him into the water. He gaped, staring up at her in shock as she laughed. He took a wet rag and threw it at her, it hitting her face with a _splat_ , and the it was the assassin's turn to laugh.

"Shepard! Thane!" Chakwas exclaimed as she entered the room, Socks held firmly in a towel, Legion right behind her. "Need I remind you that Thane should be keeping dry?"

"Even Drell need to shower sometimes." Thane shrugged. "It's never damaging. The only complaint I have about _this_ situation, is the _smell_."

"And the fact we've been soaked in flea-infested vinegar." Shepard nodded, throwing the wet rag to the floor. She looked pointedly at Socks. "If I wake up with fleas in my hair, I'm blaming _you_ , buddy."

* * *

 **Yeah, there was no way Socks was ever going to get out of getting a flea bath in this series. I'm glad so many people are getting into this, and I might just go for about five more chapters before moving on to ME3; I already have some truly diabolical ideas for our territorial kitty's interactions with Javik, and giving Brooks a much more rotten ending than what she got in-game.**

 **I _finally_ got over my writers block with the latest chapter of How to be a Rogue, and hopefully I'll have another chapter ready by the end of the month... I hope.**

 **Hope you guys keep reading!**

 **Read and REVIEW!**


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